


very close talking (kaleidoscopic thoughts of me and you)

by stardustinthesky



Category: Psych
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustinthesky/pseuds/stardustinthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was playing hard to get and he liked that. Except it stopped being a game somewhere along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	very close talking (kaleidoscopic thoughts of me and you)

 

_Are you thinking about jumping off a cliff?_

 

(Maybe.)

 

  

* * *

 

 

"Listen, diner guy--"

 

"Shawn." 

 

_-_

 

Her name is Juliet O'Hara and she isn't swayed by his boyishly handsome charm.

 

_Let me read your palm._

 

_How about one finger?_

 

Let the game begin.

 

-

 

Okay, so maybe she believes or maybe she doesn't, but at least he can tell his antics grow on her as days turn into weeks, then into months.

 

Sometimes, she gets that indulgent smile on her face and does that little shake of her head, and these are the times he puts on a little extra show, just to see her smile widen before she catches herself.

 

He likes that; sitting across her and only six minutes, _you're gonna miss me, aren't you?_ and that little smile of hers and her mixed signals and oh he loves all of this.

 

But Shawn is being, well, _Shawn_ and Shawn Spencer always keeps his options open. (Gus would say that it's totally idiotic and going for inevitable disaster, but then Gus always says a lot of things and Shawn has the attention span of a 5-year-old.)

 

It doesn't mean he stops trying, though.

 

_-_

 

She makes a mistake and beats herself over it, and the guy they thought was the killer is not but it's okay, he's figured it out. He lingers at the station, makes sure that Lassie isn't lurking in a corner before making his move.

 

Jules is alone at her desk and somehow the tension hasn't left her, her shoulders still bearing the weight of the world and she's just _so_ pretty with that ridiculously complicated bun and her grey suit and his hand is on her shoulder and damn him if he doesn't at least try.

 

"Shawn, what are you doing?"

 

_Nothing._

 

And she's talking and he tries very, _very_ hard to focus on her voice and not the fact that his lips are brushing against hers when he speaks. "I call it _very close talking_."

 

And she's speaking again, _do you have anything else to say?_ and he stands there as if thoroughly thinking about what he's going to say next so that when he shakes his head purses his lips, they are touching hers.

 

He tries to play it cool _(I'm good) a_ s he always does, and even though he can't see her smile, the sparkle in her eyes give it away.

 

It should please him, her being amused by his antics, but she's _amused_ and the moment is over.

 

(years later, he will remember the moment with fondness, not of missed opportunities.)

 

He takes a step back like he means it and mentally adds _very close talking with Jules_ to the top of his 'favorite things to do' list.

 

_-_

 

He stands at the edge of the cliff, peers over to the depth below.

 

_Just a game._

 

( _Maybe._ )

 

-

 

"Treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again."

 

-

 

Abigail.

 

_Oh._

 

He lets her slide through his fingers, the same way he did 13 years ago. He kisses her, then puts a crown on top of Juliet's head.

 

(still keeping his options open.)

 

-

 

"No hands."

 

Jules' long hair is loose for once and gone is the grey suit. She glides easily besides him. He trips and pretends to having done it on purpose, but honestly his uneasy strides give him away.

 

She threads her fingers through his when they reach the curve.

 

He walks her to her car afterwards, his hands tucked in his pockets and they stand by her green little Beetle like two awkward teenagers.

 

Her phone chirps just as she turns back to him, her mouth open to tell him something, but whatever she was going to say gets lost in the thick, warm afternoon air.

 

"It's the Chief," she says, her tone apologetic.

 

"It's okay. See you later," he replies, but she barely acknowledges him, her phone already pressed to her ear.

 

-

 

For some reason, they never seem to be on the same page.

 

"Let it go, Shawn," Gus says.

 

He hears his best friend, but pretends not to listen.

 

-

 

He steps off the edge when she steps in. ( _oh, irony._ )

 

Jules, _Jules_ and her nervous talking and opening up and _dinner with Jules_ but he's already on a date and he really, really likes Abigail and maybe this thing with Juliet is just not meant to be, whatever _it_ is.

 

He lets her go and spends half of his date with Abigail thinking about the fact that he had just made a very big mistake. But then, he looks at Abigail and thinks, _maybe not._

 

He likes them both, but Abigail was there first.

 

-

 

He pretends to be talking to his girlfriend who's left him to go to Uganda, but he's actually talking to the girl he let get away ( _get out there, she won't wait forever_ ), so it's only natural to say _I love you_ in one last desperate attempt to buy time.

 

At least, _natural_ for him.

 

All he hears for a moment is static; he finally managed to stun Juliet O'Hara into complete silence and he would have jumped up and down in victory if he wasn't tied up to a chair and with only minutes left to live.

 

"Shawn, I--I think that I--"

 

_Goodbye Abigail._

 

-

 

Gus later tells him that Juliet was only playing along. He lets them both off the hook.

 

He stands on the edge; he feels dizzy. It calls to him but he holds on.

 

He chooses Juliet, but saves Abigail.

 

-

 

He's jealous and he doesn't like the feeling. He doesn't like acting like a jerk and a douche and every other word he can think of to describe his stupid behavior whenever Declan is around, and if it wasn't for him getting in the way, he would make this man his friend.

 

He hates being that kind of guy.

 

She played hard to get and he liked that; except it stopped being a game somewhere along the way.

 

His dad once told him that, when you loved someone hard enough, you would then be able to let them go. He'd refused to understand at the time.

 

_Time to grow up, Shawn._

 

So he does and he lets go.

 

-

 

But then she shows up in Canada and _this is it_ but he keeps screwing it up until finally, finally he manages to tell her in his Shawn, roundabout way.

 

She wounds her arms around his neck, brings him closer to her; his heart is going to burst out of his chest.

 

-

 

The hotel room is paid by a convicted criminal, but they're past caring at this point.

 

"I missed my flight," she says, her head on his chest, but it's not an accusation, merely a statement.

 

He buries his nose in her hair, threads his fingers through the strands; she smells like peach. It's nice.

 

"Listen, I was thinking, maybe you could go car-shopping with me this weekend. I mean, now that we're together, I need to find a model that's me, and of course you because you'll be riding shotgun and we should be riding in style, or what if I bought a green Beetle too so they wouldn't know anymore if it's you or me or maybe if it's too soon, we could always go buy a helmet so that I can take you on a ride with my motorcycle and Gus wouldn't have any excuse for coming with us and--"

 

She laughs and props herself up, brings her face to his but stops short of kissing him, effectively silencing him. "Jules, what are you doing?" he chuckles.

 

She purses her lips, pauses for effect. "I call it... _very close talking_."

 

-

 

_Oh, hello there._

 

She takes his hand and they leap together.

 

(falling has never felt so good.)

 

 

_\--end._

 


End file.
